Ahhh—It has been a while, yes?
It has been quite the learning journey for moi. I am discovering how to get out of my own way and allowing what will be—simply—be. That’s life and the way it is, I guess.
Earlier I was listening to Shannon Able’s “Simply Sophisticate” podcast on Stitcher radio yesterday and her insight prompted me to take a deeper look within and stop trying to “fix” or prove that which is not necessary. For a few years I have made several attempts to cultivate relationships/friendships with several different types of individuals (whom we shall call “the others”) who do not seem to reciprocate. No matter what, I seem to come up short. I have tried to show the many flexible sides of how awesome I am –to no avail. Initially, I pointed the finger at myself. So, why am I configuring a new type of me for people who didn’t seem to care about me? I had to check myself!
Giving of oneself is one thing but I am nobody’s 2nd best. I was faced with a harsh and painful reality once I realized that “the others” chose to make me their “alternate” or second choice when their 1st choice(s) were unavailable. As weeks progressed, I became inundated with countless confirmations of taking a closer look and evaluating what I considered worthy and valuable of my time. I reached the conclusion that I am not an “after thought” or time killer when someone is bored. What a back-handed compliment…I digress.
I prayed, I vented, I relented, internally of course, which posed another issue. What would I tell my younger self in the current situation? Most importantly, how does God see me? He loves me so much more! Why does it matter what others think?
“You are so much better than this. It is okay to be there for others but do not extend yourself to such measures that leave you resenting who you are, or feeling as if your value or integrity has been compromised. Those who are meant to be in your life, will be in your life. Do yourself the favor and allow those who are not worth the time to walk out of your life. People will show you who they are better than they can tell you.”
On this road to minimalism, I am realizing that I am editing relationships along with the clutter that has brought such discontentment. I feel lighter and look forward to contentment in every area of my life. Happily getting rid of toxic relationships that only prove to be parasitic, items and clutter that serve no value in my life, improving my health and becoming stronger in my faith–which is first and foremost. I am excited about it!
Life affords us challenges that groom us, opportunities that shape us, failures that help us to make better decisions and it is definitely all for the best. A better way of viewing, a better way of dealing, a better way of learning…to be able to look back and wonder why I even invested time among swine who would only trampled upon the pearls that I delighted to share. Can you relate?
We take the time and create a space for those who we truly want to share our precious time. My view on cultivating certain relationships is different than it was a few weeks ago, a day ago, hours ago. There are times in our lives where we begin to make conscious decisions to be better and not bitter. The circumstances in life should change us to bring about certain growth, in the best of ways. This has caused me to continue to treat others with more love. Albeit–I don’t have to use my time, as I have previously, to prove that point.
Our time is as valuable and we should choose to share it wisely with those who…