…offended–should I be?

Bon jour mon ami, anyone out there?

Comment allez vous?  I am well, my herb babies are thriving and growing well as to be expected with the tlc that I have so diligently provided the last few weeks. It was also brought to my attention that my little Chihuahua had indulged in drinking the sitting plant water out of the tray in which the herbs sit. I really thought that my plants were drinking and absorbing all that goodness! Remember I am a novice in this area. I thought I had thirsty little herbs—more like thirsty bourgeois little pooch.


As I thought to myself—my mind triggered a randomly weird thought that I must’ve archived in the corners of my mind. I reflected back on something that someone once told me. They told me that they thought that I was “bourgeois”.  Interesting how a random thought like that sparks your memory. Where did that word originate? In the past, I remember this particular  word did not yield a positive feeling in my community because of the connotative meaning that it seemed to stir ; a somewhat egotistical arrogance. A sort of “you think that you are better than others” aire about itself.


According to Encyclopedia Britannica, the term arose from the medieval France,” a walled town that inhabited middle class”. When this remark was made to me in regards to how I carried myself, I was a bit confused. I pride myself in staying abreast on etiquette and not “lording” this insight upon others. I simply make it a part of my daily life of wanting better for myself. “so a man thinks, he is” (KJV bible). I dress where I want to go, as a matter of fact, thanks to the awesome insight that I have learned in many books–1 in particular stands out prolifically by the author Jennifer L. Scott, who is also a daily connoisseur. In her book, “Lessons from Madame Chic” I was quite inspired, hence my pseudonym. I related strongly with Madame Chic as I read each chapter. I liked the fact that she was so disciplined and how she dressed for the day. I am not as close to Madame Chic’s level, however she is #goals. An excellent read that I purchased to use a resource and it has been tremendously beneficial.


What we do affects everyone around us and I am able to achieve that without saying one word by setting an example through actions I wanted a more quality life and I began to cultivate it more. If that makes me “bourgeois” than I am not offended. When people make discourteous remarks similar to the aforementioned, I have to remind myself that I may be taking it a bit more personal than the intentions made or that they simply do not understand where I am headed. This is okay, since after all, it is their opinion of me.  This is based on their personal cultural differences and perception.


Am I being compared to materialism or aristocracy? My father once told me that the Bible states that “it is not wise to compare” and I can imagine more reasons than not, why it is mentioned. Have you ever been faced with an individual that made a remark and you wanted to set them straight but did not have the “right” words to diffuse or present the proper rebuttal? I am an unofficial advocate of forward thinking. I prefer to “set it straight” when someone gets it crooked. Hmmmm…but would that be an insecurity of mine?

Not necessarily so. I look at misinformation as if I have lipstick on my teeth and no one tells me. An entire day of smiling brightly and no one had the common courtesy of telling me. Responsible ones would say, “at some point in the day, shouldn’t you have taken a glance in a mirror”. I have discovered about myself that I tend to ‘over help’. That is when my help that was intended to do a good thing worked against me.

But that may not be the case in some incidents. We have become so polite these days that it is either taken as flirtation or that others may think we are being “high-minded. Insomuch that we are becoming more rude. It may not bother some, but it is still bothersome.

Why are we embarrassed when someone has food stuck in their teeth? foodinteeth

Why are we not able to tell them and not feel ashamed, or NOT tell them because of feeling ashamed? Who are we really protecting here?  Only to reveal a little about ourselves to the person once we are no longer in their company, leaving a lasting impression with them that we “could have said something”.  What keeps us in “minding my own business” mode?

When I traveled over seas, I noticed a lot of that—keep to yourself mentality. Before setting off to travel I  would become familiar with the culture and read upon the culture learning that politeness is looked upon as “crazy”. And that if you smile at someone on the train or walking by there is a strong response of non reciprocation. As a traveler, I thought smiling at passersby was another form of a  friendly wave. A message that says, I don’t mean any harm. But in some countries it says that you are a bit deranged or not “all there” mentally. Remember “stranger danger”a known message that conveys, you don’t smile or wave at people you do not know, only a crazy person would do so. But think about that message in general and how society compromises the “stranger danger” mentality. Aren’t the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, Super heroes at birthday parties all strangers? They are complete strangers that some parents force their children into their laps for photo ops that immortalize their disgust for these awkward moments.


Although they appear to loathe this ritual, parents smile and wave at their “familiar” faces. It is not any different–the concept is the same. We accept lies more than the truth at times because of our level of comfort. Children are lied to regularly,  for instance, the tooth fairy! But we tell children, “not to lie”.  Some adults live in Contradiction City. I never tried to explain to my children when they were younger things that I could not back up with truth. Sometimes we didn’t have a chimney–kids are smart. We look like idiots trying to explain something that we clearly have underestimated in their thinking process. I digress.

In the western world, we are the opposite. We are “so” polite that we may even exchange numbers if we feel that in small conversation—we are hitting it off well. Only to realize later, the person just might be “a little more different from what you gathered from the initial connection. Interesting. If you were to inform a traveler from afar, the Do’s & Don’ts of what to do in the States—wouldn’t that be on your list?

Isn’t this where we rely on intuition or the “gut feeling”. I once read that the nervous system’s second biggest network of closely-interconnected neurons, after the brain, is located in this area of the body. I’d like to think that gut feeling is a “God feeling” that signals when something is not right. Therefore, this should be followed more so than our mind or heart. The ability to discern what comes naturally since we are so intricately woven and fashioned miraculously.

So the next time you are greeted with an offensive remark, I’ve learned that you may just be better off keeping quiet. We all always with our thoughts, and at some point if there was an offense taken–it is revealed somehow. Don’t you think?

…just a thought



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